Things you would never know without the movies... [1999/02/15]
My good friend Alan Dinwiddie
sent me the following list ... enjoy!
Things you would never know without the movies...
...All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
...If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
...All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
...It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.
...Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
...The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you
can travel to any other part of the building you want without
...If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
...You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you
make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back
...Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will
not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
...If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or
his forthcoming art exhibition.
...The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
...A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating
but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
...When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out
a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be
the exact fare.
...Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at
night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
...Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family
every morning even though their husband and children never have time
to eat it.
...Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
...The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or
give him 48 hours to finish the job.
...A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of
...Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
...Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
...It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.
...Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary
to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
...All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
...It is always possible to park directly outside the building you
...A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
...It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack
you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
have knocked out their predecessors.
...When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they
will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
...No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
...Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
...When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
...Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds
- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped
...Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise moment.